Of Rare Love
by Joanne Novak
Summary: *Spoilers for 8x17* Meg Masters died that night. Castiel mourns and Sam helps him along. She was his unicorn after all, and he was hers. And Sam can understand that. Oneshot.


**A/N: So, a quick look at the Megstiel of tonight's episode. Obviously, spoilers for 8x17, "Goodbye Stranger." (Thanks, SkyHighFan for correcting me about the episode number!) This could be a sort of character study, or a relationship study, I suppose, but I'm not sure. Please let me know if anything is out of character, because I have my suspicions, but I'm not entirely sure. Hope you like it!**

* * *

"You were supposed to protect her," Castiel growled through gritted teeth, stepping forward with his fists balled at his sides. "You were supposed to keep her safe."

Sam, wide-eyed and alarmed, backpedaled until he found his back against the wall and an angry, teary-eyed angel inches from his face. "Cas, she –"

"She was with you and you were supposed to protect her. But now she's gone, Sam, and it is _entirely your fault_!"

Cas' fists shook as he screwed his eyes shut, trying to force his tears back. In all his time spent on earth, he had never shed a tear for one he'd lost. Not when Sam took the plunge into Lucifer's Cage, not when he pushed Dean out of Purgatory. He hadn't even shed a tear for his brothers in the Garrison, for all the angels he'd personally killed, for Samandriel.

Yet here he was, inside of Sam's sleeping mind, allowing tears to fall down his cheeks; and for a _demon. _

No, not for a demon. For Meg Masters. She was different, and to call her a demon would be doing her a great disservice. She was loyal. She was brave. She was smart, quick and cunning. And she was beautiful and kind, in her own special way. She was everything a demon was not.

Plus, she saved him. When his mind was shattered, broken on the floor of an old mental hospital, she was there. She was there for him, was his friend when there was no one else. She was the one person he could somehow cling to, without her particularly minding.

Meg Masters was the one person that Castiel ever found himself loving in _that way_. Similarly, he supposed, or rather, he'd like to think that, he was the one person that Meg had ever come to love as well.

Unfortunately, he had no way of knowing whether or not that was true.

"Sam, she's gone."

His anger toward Sam was slowly slipping away as he went over the night's events in his mind. Sam was really not to blame for Meg's death. In truth, it was all Crowley. And it all comes back to Crowley in the end, doesn't it?

Crowley's plans, Crowley's schemes, Crowley's manipulations and deceptions and treacheries.

But none of that really mattered now, not to Castiel. Not when the first person he ever loved was dead.

Castiel took a deep, shuddering breath and stepped back from Sam, who slowly moved away from the wall and away from Cas. Sam watched, though, as Cas brought his right hand up and unfurled his fist, revealing a folded up necklace in the center of his bloody palm.

"She's gone. I know, because she let me take her necklace. She would never let me take her necklace off." _Not even when I became her Pizza Man. _The thought stayed behind closed lips.

Slowly, Cas reached behind his head and clasped the necklace around his neck, letting the pendant charms rest on top of his necktie. It looked silly, the feminine necklace in contrast to the rest of him; but it was all he had left. Meg's neck was the proper spot for it, but in her absence, his neck would suffice.

Once he was finished, he stared back down at his bloodstained hands.

"I'll kill Crowley for this," he muttered. "Before you close the gates of Hell, I want to be the one to kill him."

Sam took a breath and finally walked back toward Castiel.

"Sounds like a plan to me," he said, placing a hand on the angel's shoulder. He said nothing else, instead watching Castiel drop his head.

"She's really gone," Cas repeated. "After all of this, she's gone."

Sam nodded somberly, but the silence stretched on for a few more moments and Castiel continued.

"She called me Clarence. I finally was able to watch that film, and found the reference to the protagonist's guardian angel… endearing."

Sam nodded, a sad smile on his face.

"She also called you her unicorn," Sam said. "When we were talking. She used that term to mean… to mean someone rare and special. Someone that you love so much, they can change your life."

Castiel sighed.

"Then, in that case, she was my unicorn as well."

A few moments passed after that, and Sam suddenly found himself alone in his dreams once again, the sight of Meg's necklace around Cas' neck and the voice of his mourning still rattling through his mind.

And Sam slept on.


End file.
